The Managing Your Opportunities workbook introduces “the 3 keys to effective communication” on one page and, on the next, uses three letters as column headings: B, T, W. Participants are asked what each is, how to manage it and what examples look like. The letters stand for the three channels through which we communicate in person: body language, tone and words.
This article explains each channel, corrects one of the most widely misquoted statistics in business training, and offers practical ways to keep all three channels working together.
Three channels, one message
When we speak to someone face to face, we send information through several channels at once:
- Words: the content of what we say.
- Tone: how we say it, including pitch, pace, volume, emphasis and pauses.
- Body language: posture, gestures, facial expression, eye contact and movement.
Most of the time these channels align and we barely notice them. When they conflict (someone says “I’m fine” in a flat voice with folded arms), listeners notice immediately, and they tend to trust the non-verbal signals over the words.
That last observation is the origin of a famous statistic, and of a widespread misunderstanding.
The 7-38-55 myth
Many presentations and training courses claim that communication is 7% words, 38% tone and 55% body language. The figures come from studies by the psychologist Albert Mehrabian in the 1960s, and they are real, but they are very frequently applied far beyond what the research showed.
Mehrabian’s experiments were narrow. Participants heard single words or very short messages expressing like, dislike or neutrality, spoken in different tones and, in one study, paired with photographs of facial expressions. The researchers asked how listeners judged the speaker’s feelings when the channels disagreed.
The resulting proportions describe how people judged feelings and attitudes when words and non-verbal signals conflicted, in an artificial setting. Mehrabian himself has cautioned against applying the figures to communication in general. If 93% of meaning really came from tone and body language, we could understand a lecture in a language we do not speak simply by watching the speaker. Clearly we cannot.
What the research does support is a more modest and still useful point: when your words say one thing and your tone or body language says another, people tend to believe the tone and body language, especially about how you feel.
Words
Words carry the content: facts, ideas, proposals, questions. In business conversations, especially technical or commercial ones, words carry most of the substantive meaning.
Managing the words channel well means:
- Clarity. Plain language, short sentences, specific examples. Avoid jargon unless you are sure the other person shares it.
- Relevance. Talking about what matters to the listener rather than what interests you.
- Accuracy. Saying what you mean, without exaggeration. Overstatement erodes credibility.
- Structure. Signposting where you are going (“There are two things I’d like to cover”) helps listeners follow.
- Their language. Reflecting the customer’s own words back (“you mentioned the downtime is the real issue”) shows you listened and keeps you aligned with how they see the problem.
Tone
Tone tells listeners how to interpret the words: whether a statement is confident or uncertain, warm or cold, sincere or sarcastic, urgent or relaxed. The same sentence (“We can deliver by Friday”) can sound reassuring, doubtful or irritated depending on tone.
Aspects of tone worth paying attention to:
- Pace. Speaking very quickly can signal nervousness or pressure; very slowly can seem condescending. A measured pace, with variation, is easiest to follow.
- Pitch and variation. A monotone suggests disinterest. Natural variation signals engagement.
- Volume. Appropriate to the setting: loud enough to be heard easily, not so loud as to dominate.
- Emphasis. Stressing different words changes meaning. “We can deliver by Friday” and “We can deliver by Friday” say different things.
- Pauses. Well-placed pauses give listeners time to absorb important points and signal confidence. Silence after a question invites a fuller answer.
- Warmth. Smiling while speaking changes the sound of the voice, which is noticeable even on the phone.
Body language
Body language includes everything visible: posture, gestures, facial expression, eye contact, distance and movement. It strongly shapes impressions of confidence, openness and attentiveness.
Signals that generally help:
- Open posture: facing the other person, arms relaxed rather than tightly crossed.
- Appropriate eye contact: attentive without staring, adjusted for cultural and personal norms.
- Genuine facial expression: responsive to what the other person says.
- Purposeful gestures: natural movement that supports what you say, without fidgeting.
- Attention cues: nodding, leaning in slightly, taking notes.
A caution: popular “body language reading” often overstates what single signals mean. Crossed arms may mean defensiveness, or that the room is cold. Avoiding eye contact may signal evasiveness, or cultural norms, or shyness, or concentration. Body language is best read as clusters of signals in context, and as prompts for questions rather than conclusions.
Alignment: the real lesson
The practical lesson from Mehrabian’s research is about congruence. Communication works best when words, tone and body language all say the same thing. When they diverge, listeners notice, and trust drops.
Some common mismatches in business:
- Saying “I’m happy to answer any questions” while glancing at a watch.
- Saying “We really value your business” in a flat, hurried voice.
- Agreeing to a request while hesitating and looking away.
- Presenting a price confidently in words but apologetically in tone.
Each sends a mixed message. Customers resolve the mixture by trusting the non-verbal channel, which often conveys reluctance, doubt or disinterest you did not intend to show.
The fix is rarely to perform the right body language. It is usually to sort out the underlying feeling. If you are uncertain about a price, prepare until you can explain its value with conviction. If you are short of time, say so honestly and reschedule rather than half-listening.
How to manage each channel
The workbook asks “how do we manage or control it?” for each channel. Some practical answers:
| Channel | How to manage it | Examples |
|---|---|---|
| Body language | Awareness, preparation, removing distractions | Put the phone away; face the person; take notes; relax shoulders before a meeting |
| Tone | Breathing, pace, preparation, genuine interest | Slow down when nervous; pause after key points; smile when greeting |
| Words | Planning, plain language, using the customer’s words | Prepare key points; avoid jargon; summarise what you heard |
Video recordings of practice conversations are a powerful (if uncomfortable) way to see your own patterns. Many people discover habits they were completely unaware of, such as a fast pace when explaining prices or a tendency to look away when asked difficult questions.
The three channels in different media
Not every conversation uses all three channels.
Face to face uses all three. It is the richest form of communication, which is why important conversations are often worth having in person.
Video keeps words, tone and much of facial expression, but loses some body language and makes timing harder. Deliberately signalling attention (nodding, brief verbal acknowledgements) helps compensate.
Phone loses all visual signals. Tone carries almost everything beyond the words. Energy, clarity and warmth in the voice matter more.
Email and messages strip away both tone and body language, leaving only words. That is why written messages are so easily misread, and why the workbook’s quotation about emailing versus communicating is pointed. The next article explores this in more detail.
A worked example
A supplier calls a long-standing customer to explain a price increase. This is an illustration.
In the first version, the account manager reads a prepared statement quickly, in an apologetic tone, and avoids discussing the reasons. The customer hears nervousness and wonders whether the increase is justified or simply opportunistic.
In the second version, she prepares properly. She understands the cost changes behind the increase, has thought about how to soften the impact (a phased introduction, or a longer-term agreement at a fixed rate) and is genuinely comfortable that the new price is fair. On the call, she explains calmly and plainly, pauses to let the customer react and asks how the change affects them. Her words, tone and confidence align.
The message is the same. The customer’s response is very different.
Presentations and group settings
The three channels work differently when you are speaking to a group, such as a presentation to a customer’s management team or a talk at an industry event.
- Words need more structure. Groups cannot interrupt as easily to ask for clarification, so clear signposting (“three points”, “first”, “finally”) matters more.
- Tone needs more energy. A tone that works across a table can sound flat across a room. Slightly more volume and variation keeps attention.
- Body language needs to include everyone. Spread eye contact around the room rather than speaking only to the most senior person or to the screen.
- Slides are a fourth channel. Text-heavy slides compete with your words for attention. Short headlines and visuals support what you say; paragraphs pull the audience away from you.
The same principle applies: all channels should support one clear message.
Reading the customer’s channels
The three channels also work in reverse. Paying attention to a customer’s tone and body language reveals information their words may not:
- A tone that brightens when a particular topic comes up suggests what matters to them.
- Hesitation before answering a question about budget or timing may signal uncertainty worth exploring.
- A change in posture when price is mentioned may indicate concern.
The skilful response is not to announce your interpretation (“I can see you’re worried”) but to ask a gentle question: “How does that sit with you?” or “Is there anything about that you’d like to look at more closely?” Non-verbal signals are prompts for curiosity, not conclusions.
Cultural and personal differences
The meaning of tone and body language is not universal. Norms vary between cultures, regions, industries and individuals, and a signal that reads as respectful in one setting can read as rude in another.
Some areas where differences are common:
- Eye contact. In many Western business settings, steady eye contact signals honesty and attention. In some cultures, prolonged eye contact, especially with someone more senior, can feel confrontational or disrespectful.
- Personal space. Comfortable conversational distance varies widely.
- Directness. Some cultures and individuals value very direct speech; others communicate more indirectly, relying on context and implication. A direct “no” may be rare even when the answer is no.
- Silence. In some settings silence is uncomfortable and quickly filled; in others it is a normal part of thoughtful conversation.
- Gestures and touch. Handshakes, gestures and physical contact carry different meanings in different places.
Australia’s workforce and customer base are culturally diverse, so these differences arise regularly. The practical approach is humility: notice the other person’s style, adjust towards it where you can, avoid over-interpreting unfamiliar signals, and ask when unsure.
Practising alignment
Communication habits change through practice, not reading. A few simple exercises help.
Record and review. Record a short practice explanation of your product or price (on video if possible), then watch it with the sound off (body language), listen without watching (tone) and read a transcript (words). Each view reveals different habits.
Practise the hard moments. Most mismatches show up in difficult moments: stating a price, saying no, delivering bad news. Rehearse these specifically until your tone and body language match the confidence of your words.
Ask for feedback. A colleague who joins a meeting can tell you how you came across. Ask specific questions: “Did I sound confident when I gave the price? Did I rush the summary?”
Slow down. Many tone problems come from speaking too quickly under pressure. A deliberate breath before an important statement improves pace, tone and clarity at once.
Common mistakes
Quoting 7-38-55 as a general rule. It undermines credibility with anyone who knows the research.
Performing body language. Practised gestures that do not match your feelings tend to look false.
Ignoring tone in writing. Words alone can sound much colder than intended.
Over-reading single signals. Context and clusters matter.
Forgetting the channels you cannot see. On the phone or in writing, extra clarity is needed to make up for lost signals.
Bringing it together
Communication travels through words, tone and body language. Words carry most of the content in business conversations, while tone and body language strongly shape how that content is received, especially when the channels conflict. The famous 7-38-55 statistic describes that conflict in a narrow experimental setting, not communication in general.
The practical lesson is alignment. Prepare well enough, and care enough, that what you say, how you say it and how you look while saying it all tell the same story. When they do, people trust the message.
Topics and structure drawn from the Managing Your Opportunities sales workshop workbook (Charlie Pidcock); the explanations and examples are GoCore’s own. Research described: Albert Mehrabian’s studies of inconsistent messages (1967) and his later book Silent Messages (1971). Examples are illustrations, not real cases. This article is general information, not professional advice.
